Calm for the Caregiver

Kristin Neff was the first researcher to define and measure self-compassion, and she co-founded the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. Her site offers a free self-compassion test, guided meditations and written exercises. She names caregiving among the pressures that leave people depleted. The practices are short enough to use in a parked car.

Family therapist Pauline Boss coined the term ambiguous loss for the grief of losing someone who is still here. In this conversation she talks at length about dementia, which she describes as an incremental death. She treats caregiver grief as normal and human. A full transcript is on the page for readers who would rather read.

Denise Brown launched Caregiving.com in 1996. It hosts online support groups, daily chats and blogs written by family caregivers. The talk covers self-care, boundaries, stress and money. It is a place to find other people who are in the middle of it too.

Respite is short-term care for your person so you can rest, from a few hours to a few weeks. The ARCH locator is a free search for respite programs in your community, supported by the Administration for Community Living. It says openly that the list is incomplete and that it does not endorse providers. Check any program yourself before you book.

The Eldercare Locator is a public service from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It connects older adults and their families with local services, including Area Agencies on Aging and meal programs. You can reach trained staff by call or text at 1-800-677-1116. It is the quickest way to learn what help exists in your parent's county.